If you were to have told me how difficult being a parent was before I had a baby, the thought in my head would have been, “How difficult can being a stay-at-home mom be? Really? Stop your griping and complaining!”. Yeah.
Not only is it difficult to be a stay at home mommy, but being a mommy of a child who is sick most days, and on the other days we have therapy appointments and doctors appointments and constant issues with his anger management and tantrums is far greater of a task than I could have ever imagined. Our days start and end with therapy. I am always trying to find different ways of incorporating the things he needs work on into regular play. Then there are the tantrums. Yes…every 2 year old has tantrums, but my kid has breakdowns like you would not believe. Not just a few times a day, even. ALL day. I know it is because he is trying so hard to communicate. We do a few signs, and we are learning more everyday. However, he is still learning when he needs to use them. It is an ongoing task. And, forget using the vacuum or going out to eat. Not happening if you want an enjoyable meal. As for vacuuming, I have to do that when he is with Steve somewhere else.
So, in light of these things, this little story added a very bright light to a very dismal day.
Each Wednesday night, a few of the people from church come over for a Bible study. Once a month, we do a dinner. A couple of weeks ago, we did an “Asian Cuisine” night. It was divine. For dessert, we all reached into a box, grabbed a fortune cookie, and read our fortunes out loud. Actually, that in and of itself is funny: a Bible study reading fortune cookies. ANYWAY…I digress… Everyone read their cookie, we all laughed, and they started in on the study while Asher and I played in his room. After they all left, I picked up from the study, and found a couple of fortunes lying on the floor. I threw them all away.
In order for you to really understand this story, I need to tell you how often I clean the floor in my house. I sweep at least 3 times a day. Sometimes more. I straighten the house every night. I have to be very careful with Asher because he is still eating everything.
The other night, I was sitting next to him watching him with the train set. I looked away for a second, and there he stood with a little fortune cookie fortune. “Where in the world did you find this, Asher?” His response was, “Joy, joy, da da, ya ya, ba ba”.
“Ok, ” I said, “lets read this”. It said, “Look for the dream that keeps coming back. It is your destiny” “Huh, ” I thought. “I don’t remember anyone having this fortune!”
I sat there for a second and looked at my sweet little boy. He was my dream. He definitely keeps coming back (he he he). And, I do believe deep down in my heart that I was destined to be his mother. Even with all his little quirks, tantrums, health problems, and issues, he lights up my life brighter than any sun or star. God knew he was in good hands with Steve and me. I trust that. Even though there are days I am not sure I can go on…I trust God. Asher is the perfect little boy: imperfections and all. Of all the children there ever was or ever will be, I would pick him every time. So, he is my dream and my destiny. I guess God can even use fortune cookies to lift your spirit. I love my little boy, and I am so happy God used him to remind me that what I do makes a difference.