After one whole month of being sick, I am back at it. It started as a cold, then another cold, then, as my comfort food, I began eating nutter butters everyday. I kept wondering why I wasn’t getting well until one day I skipped my afternoon nutter butter feeding frenzy. The next day, I felt better. The afternoon came round, and nutter butters started calling my name. I immediately got sick. 5 days now, I’ve been off the nutter butters and have felt great. It is not exciting news for me that my favorite snack is now on my “do not eat” list, but, it is better than the alternative.
So many things have been running in and out of my head during this month that it is hard to put them all down. From a very dirty and neglected house to a very disgruntled spirit. I am amazed at how the state of your physical body can tie in so closely to the state of your mind and spirit. There have been so many days of stress and isolation.
The time of “darkness”, as many prefer to call it, has its purpose. Though I cannot speak for others, for me, it makes me look deeper into who I am. As a Christian, it makes me realize how imperfect I am. My mom always says, “you can’t enjoy the sunshine unless you have been in a storm.” I agree. After this month of rolling around in sickness and sadness, a good shower of God’s word never felt so good. It is cleansing. Although I try to avoid the “Christian-ease” type of language when describing a powerful awakening in my spiritual walk, sometimes it is unavoidable.
Well, the basic summary of this is to say I’m back, but I’m changed. I’ve been saved a long time, but I’ve been rescued this time. It’s not so much about the suffering of sickness. It is the suffering in spirit. God, in all His wonder, touched me and healed that part of me that was crying. I am truly thankful.