{"id":1225,"date":"2017-09-08T09:00:52","date_gmt":"2017-09-08T14:00:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/?p=1225"},"modified":"2017-09-08T09:00:52","modified_gmt":"2017-09-08T14:00:52","slug":"the-green-swag-lamp","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/the-green-swag-lamp\/","title":{"rendered":"The Green Swag Lamp"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"graf graf--p\">Garage sales are a big deal. When I was a kid, my mom had me up and at \u2018um at 6 a.m. on Saturday mornings. I grabbed my pillow and blanket for backseat napping while she shopped. As I got older, my love of garage sales grew.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">In my early 30\u2019s and single, I used garage sales to find home decor. It was at one garage sale I found a fantastic deal. A green, mid-century swag lamp sitting in a box. How much? 5 bucks.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">I loved that lamp. It cast a beautiful green design light onto the walls. It made me feel good.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">In my late thirties, I had a store with homemade items and garage sale finds. I hung the lamp over the checkout counter. When I decided to sale off the inventory and shut down, I invited a local vintage shop owner in for a first look.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">I made a decision I have regretted since: I sold them the lamp.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">This morning, I woke up with the lamp on my mind. It was my first thought. The regret tumbled around in my gut.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">What is regret? It is the \u201cI wish I had\u201d and the \u201cI wish I hadn\u2019t\u201d thoughts we can\u2019t seem to shake. I have a whole lot of these. We all have a whole lot of these.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">Recently, I have been in a season of ridding myself of the regrets. Why did I\u2026.? Why didn\u2019t I\u2026\u201d What on earth was I thinking? How was I so stupid?<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">Dealing with regret is a painful process. Why? Because in order to deal with it, you have to fully remember it and the feelings associated. Regrets must be tended to like an injury: put on the medication, limp for a while, and take care of yourself until it heals.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">I have known people who live so completely in regret, they talk about it constantly. It is a stench of death swirling around their lives. These people made me ask myself a question. This question led me to the point I am at today.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">Do I want to live then or now?<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">Answering this question is more difficult than I thought.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">Human beings love to want to be happy, but they love wallowing around in the mud, too. Something triggers all of the adrenaline and endorphins in our mind when we regret. In some ways, it is more comfortable to hang on to our junk than to just let it go. Regret or peace? Peace isn\u2019t nearly as much fun, but it is a whole lot happier.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">After searching for my lamp online, I quickly realized I will not be able to afford one for quite some time. I have to let it go. I don\u2019t want to let it go. I want that moment back so I can make a better decision! This, of course, is a pipe dream. There is no time machine. The past cannot be changed. There is no way back. There is only a way forward.<\/p>\n<p class=\"graf graf--p\">As I tackle this regret today, I find myself in a unique position of living now and then. Now, I just need to get rid of the \u201cthen\u201d so I can live for now. One day, I\u2019ll find my green swag lamp again. Until then, I\u2019ll just let my soul light the way.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Garage sales are a big deal. When I was a kid, my mom had me up and at \u2018um at 6 a.m. on Saturday mornings. I grabbed my pillow and blanket for backseat napping while she shopped. As I got older, my love of garage sales grew. In my early 30\u2019s and single, I used [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":1226,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[68],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spirituality"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1225","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1225"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1225\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1227,"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1225\/revisions\/1227"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1226"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1225"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1225"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.autumncalvert.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1225"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}